Turning the Tables
Jan 03, 2009 | From the kitchen of Rose
I’ve never liked or should I say accepted rules--at least not without questioning or testing them. But for the new year I’d like to offer up two for consideration and that’s the operative word—consideration!
Restaurant Reservations: How would you like it if you made a dinner party and cooked your heart out for your guests and a few didn’t show up without even letting you know before hand. That’s the way it is for restaurants, especially small ones that have even more trouble surviving, especially in this economy. Some restaurateurs are forced to take credit cards along with reservations.
Also, keep in mind that in order to survive financially, small restaurants need to turn the tables, i.e. you really can’t occupy your table for the entire evening unless, perhaps, you are willing to pay for two seatings.
Group E-mails: If you like or need to send the same message to several people, be sure to blind copy. This is not to keep anonymity of e-mail addresses as much as to prevent hackers—vampires of the internet (who adore group e-mails) from sending everyone in your address book endless spam. All you need to do is put the names in your group list in ( ) and they will be safe. Some people think of this as e-mail etiquette. Surprisingly, though, I’ve lost one very old friend and another previously friendly though evidently self-centered colleague after making this request. Each promised never to e-mail me again at all! And I had informed them in good faith assuming they didn’t realize the consequences of what they had done and would be glad to know how it works.
My husband Elliott has a saying that is a near mantra—it goes something like this: Do what you want as long as it doesn’t hurt others. Of course this is subject to interpretation and requires much turning of the tables but could well account for why our marriage has endured for 33 years as of this July 2009.
Happy and Considerate New Year!
Print
Post/Read Comments (14)
Digg
de.licio.us
Facebook
StumbleUpon
joan
12/28/2009 12:53 AM
Thanks for the advice about bcc: I had never really considered it re hackers.
And, speaking of consideration, what a lovely sentiment, Rose,
"A Happy and Considerate New Year to All."
REPLY
Hector
01/10/2009 04:58 PM
Dearest anonymous and dearest everyBODY:
I also feel for you that Rose is unable to post new topics more often nor reply to every entry. But, COME ON... give Rose a break!!! This blog is truly a work of love and free!. Besides saying that we should never expect more than what one can get for free, how about we just browse thru what is already posted on the blog. There are nearly 3 years worth of postings, perhaps every question about baking has been answered with a generous amount of words and writings from Rose. I find myself spending hours and hours in front of this blog and typing on the search box. Be sure to also search for videos, we have a few videos starring Rose!
Please also visit the forums, where a great number of Rose followers is growing into a community! You can post your own topics and surelly questions will be quickly addressed by the community.
So please, hang in there, Rose will soon be done editing her new book, and rejoin her own blog and write and post her hear out.
So, lastly, don't feel frustrated, Rose's love and generosity is bigger than words, so just feel it without having to read it!
REPLY
Anonymous
01/10/2009 08:13 AM
I find it frustrating that the new posts are so few and far between on this site.
REPLY
Natashya
01/09/2009 01:00 PM
We had a fellow cancel at the last minute - after I had put together a fabulous multi course Greek meal.
We packed it up, with a bottle of wine, and brought it to some close friends with a cabin not too far away from us.
The night was salvaged beautifully, the fellow was never invited back.
I have no idea why some people think their actions have no consequences for others.
The cure for the heartaches of this world is baking (and eating) beautiful bread!
REPLY
Patrincia
01/06/2009 03:03 PM
Julie - yep, it's true. Needless to say, our friendship with them dwindled after that. I chalk it up to them being very young, but it was very inconsiderate.
REPLY
Michael Mullen
01/06/2009 10:19 AM
Your husband is right. Briefly stated, be a "mensch." a.k.a. http://blog.guykawasaki.com/2006/02/how_to_be_a_men.html
REPLY
Julie
01/05/2009 09:22 PM
Patrincia, what a story!! All that effort and care to make a nice evening, and they didn't show- unbelievable!
REPLY
Patrincia
01/05/2009 04:51 PM
As newlyweds my husband and I invited our first dinner guests, a young couple we were friends with. I made lots of yummy things, including my first turkey which I had to ask my new mother-in-law to help me make. I cooked all day, cleaned the house from top to bottom, set a beautiful table, got all dressed up, and then we waited, and waited, ... and waited. Yep, they no-showed on us - no call, no explanation, no apology, no nothing... I was crushed. It's been 20 years now, but Carl and Sheryl, if you're still out there somewhere, you know who you are!!!
REPLY
Bill
01/04/2009 01:52 PM
Rose...I agree with you 100%. People just don't think...and sometimes we all need to be reminded about simple common manners.
By the way...I made the white spice pound cake in the cake bible last night. YUM YUM YUM. Usually a spice cake isn't my thing Sometimes I think that the cloves make me think of work (Oil of cloves is used in a lot of dental materials...and well...I don't always want a cake that tastes like what work smells like)...but I decided to give it a try (just looking for something fast and different). It was totally delicious.
Thanks!
REPLY
Kitt
01/03/2009 10:46 PM
Amen to both! I tend to be loose on my timing, but always make an effort to show up on time for reservations, or call if I am going to be late.
People who send out emails to large groups without bcc: also tend to forward dire warnings about computer viruses and such that they've received, without checking to see if those are hoaxes (and they always are).
I've found that a polite response cc:'d to everyone pointing out the hoax (with links to the debunking at snopes, urbanlegends.com, symantec or mcafee) gets you taken off their forwarding list immediately.
REPLY
Hector
01/03/2009 09:06 PM
glad to know that I am not the only one getting stood up when hosting. agreed about turning tables, reason I don't have my own restaurant is because the sacrifixe is huge and the profits low plus the startup investment is big! please support your mom/pop restaurant even if it is just average, specially during this economy.
and.... Ode de BCC!!!
REPLY
Sunshinemom
01/03/2009 08:12 PM
That is good information - thanks! Wish you a very Happy, Safe and Prosperous New Year!
REPLY
Amy
01/03/2009 07:04 PM
I love restaurants that don't depend on table-turning. I'd rather pay a little more (it's an occasion or we wouldn't be eating out!) and be able to linger. Or, I could move to Europe (not).
REPLY
Annie
01/03/2009 07:01 PM
When I read the word "consideration", my thoughts jumped to the lack of etiquette displayed by people using mobile phones. Why do they have to shout?
I have had guests ring half an hour before they were due for lunch and say they weren't coming, with no good reason. Yes, we had gone to a lot of effort and were not amused. Also had a lot of beautiful seafood that we'd wanted to share with them. They've not been invited back, needless to say!
Happy New Year from a happy baker of wholegrain and ciabatta...
Annie
REPLY
Switzerland Part Three--St. Gallen
Ho Ho Ho Hawaii